***
I have learned a lot about myself in my time at Papa Murphys, especially through 2009. On New Years Eve, Heather had a very intense but heartfelt conversation with me privately at work. It was as both a manager and a friend. That conversation continued on several times throughout this year and I think it has finally started to sink in, but not without some casualties.
I am a jerk.
I am prideful.
I am easily angered.
I put myself before others.
I gossip.
I say hurtful things.
I am judgemental.
These are all parts of me that I have learned about the hard way over the last 8 or 9 months. I have lost some very dear friends of mine because of it. I have cried many tears. Its been painful.
But there is hope.
Mine is not a story of sorrow but of redemption! The last month or so has been one of the most incredible for me in terms of what God is doing in my life. He has told me to seek forgiveness from the people that I have hurt. He has begun to mend relationships that are broken. He has caused me to grow up in so many ways!
Even in the last couple of days, God has been fixing the areas of my life that have been ruined by my sin nature. I feel so relieved to be leaving Papa Murphys on good terms with everyone there. To be honest, even a week ago I didn't think that that would be possible. But that is what is so wonderful about God! He is transforming my way of thinking. He is transforming my opinions of others. I am becoming more and more obedient to His word!
***
Over this last month, I had really been feeling convicted to talk to one of my friends about some stuff included seeking her forgiveness for something. I had tried to talk to her for a while but some stuff happened and we weren't able to. I really wanted to talk to her this weekend since it was our last weekend as coworkers. I decided to write her a letter. I usually am really a lot better at writing people letters than talking to them in person. I am not a confrontational person. So on Thursday night I wrote this girl a letter. Unfortunately, I started falling asleep halfway through writing it. I couldn't concentrate and so I gave up for the evening.
Well Friday I went to work with no letter to give to this person and didn't think all that much of it that evening. But about 45 minutes before I got off, I had this feeling that I needed to actually talk to this person. Like have a conversation with them. With dialouge. Where they could call me on my inadequacies. Where I was vulnerable. I was scared. But after five minutes of wrestling with whether or not I shoud, I asked this girl if we could talk for a big after work. She said yes.
Let me tell you, I was so relieved after that conversation that its almost ridiculous. I had had a permanent knot in my stomach for the last few weeks that I had stopped recognizing until it was gone. God gave me the courage to speak my heart and he blessed both my friend and I through it! It was amazing!
***
I have one other person that I can't go without mentioning--Shelby. I have actually known Shelby since she was in kindergarten. She is two years older than me and is my sister's age. We didn't really talk at all until my sophomore year when we were in drivers ed together. It was later that year that we became coworkers. Shelby has become one of my very closest friends if not my best friend. She is an amazing girl who is such an inspiration to me! We can talk about anything and that is amazing. I thank God so much for providing us with our friendship.
I just couldn't not talk about Shelby in my Papas blogs.
***
If there is one thing that I hope you can take away from the story of my time at Papas, it is redemption. I've screwed up so much in so many ares over the last 2 and a half years but God still loves me and still blessed my life in more ways than I can count. Although I am extremely sad to be leaving, I am so excited for the future! I know that this is the right move for me and am so thankful for all that Jeff and Penelope have done for me!
This is the end...
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